HOW WILL HAVING A BABY WITH
DOWN'S SYNDROME AFFECT THE REST OF THE FAMILY?
Having a baby with Down's syndrome in the family requires a period of
readjustment. Parents feel under more pressure to do things with their baby to
help the child's development than with any other baby. Take time to get to know
the baby as part of the family. A baby with Down's syndrome has his or her own
personality and characteristics, just like any other children.
Telling brothers and sisters
Children take their cue from their parents. If they feel positive about the
new baby, then the children will too. It is important to explain to them as
soon as possible that the new baby may learn more slowly than themselves to do
things and may need extra care, but that with time he or she will learn to do
everything other babies do.
There is little reason to think that the new baby will have a bad effect on
the other children's lives. Research shows that most children get on well with
their sibling with Down's syndrome, are fond of them, still enjoy their own
pursuits, and are not embarrassed by their friends meeting them. Many parents
find that their other children became more compassionate, with more feeling for
people with all kinds of disabilities, as a result of having a sibling with
Down's syndrome.
Try to integrate the baby into the family routine as quickly as possible. It
is important not to restrict the rest of the family's activities more than
necessary because the baby has Down's syndrome. Take the child out and about
with the family. This helps them all to come to terms with the condition and
gives the baby plenty of new experiences.
Telling grandparents
Grandparents undoubtedly go through the same feelings as the parents, but
without being able to fill their time with the practical tasks of looking after
the baby. Where possible, try to include them in doing things with and for the
baby, and allow them to get to know him or her. Grandparents and relatives or
friends are always welcome to speak to someone at the Down's Syndrome
Association, or to attend meetings of local branches or groups.
Telling friends and acquaintances
This, too, is best done as soon as possible after the birth. Sometimes
friends (and relatives) unwittingly say thoughtless and hurtful things out of
embarrassment and even ignorance. They may have pictured a "normal"
new baby, and so have difficulty knowing how to react now that the baby is born
with Down's syndrome. Be positive about the baby and friends will take their
cue accordingly.
Marital difficulties
Research shows that no more marital difficulties are experienced by parents
of children with Down's syndrome than by the rest of the population. In fact,
when asked about the effect of having a child with Down's syndrome in the
family, parents often say it has brought them closer together.
Ongoing provision
During the first few weeks, many parents ask what is available for their
child when they grow older, as well as what kind of financial provision they
can make for the child's future.
Children with Down's syndrome can, and do, grow up to live long and
fulfilled lives. Provided that they are allowed the opportunities they need to
develop self-help skills and independence, they can thrive well into their
fifties, facing many of the challenges we all encounter: school; further
education; work; and a home of one's own. Many children with Down's syndrome
are now being integrated successfully into mainstream schools.
Available provision differs from area to area, and the situation is always
changing. Residential and occupational opportunities for young people and
adults are being developed all the time by both statutory and voluntary
agencies. Up-to-date information can be obtained from the information officers
at the national office of the Down's Syndrome Association.
Financial provision can be made by way of a trust or settlement established
during one's lifetime, or by a combination of a will and a trust. In either
case, it can be combined with a planned programme of saving, or by the
provision of a suitable insurance policy. The association has information on
these topics and can put you in touch with professional people who can help.
The Down's Syndrome Association may be contacted at either:
Down's Syndrome Association
155 Mitcham Road
London
SW17 9PG
 020-8682 4001
 020-8682 4012
or:
Down's Syndrome Association - Scotland
158-160 Balgreen Road
Edinburgh
EH11 3AU
0131-313 4225
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